


As The World Caves In.

by okamen



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Character Death, Country Deaths (Hetalia), Crying, Gaslighting, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Murder, Regret, Yes I project onto russia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26576416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okamen/pseuds/okamen
Summary: Lithuania's done.
Kudos: 4





	As The World Caves In.

**Author's Note:**

> @liliofthelampl1 on Twitter  
> I have a statement pinned about my stance on RusLiet as a ship.  
> Inspired by As The World Caves In.  
> Trigger Warning, graphic descriptions of murder, self blame, panic attack, implied emotional abuse.

Tighter

The voices in his head were finally released, from years and years of being set back and treated as a servant, as if he were not human.

As the words grew louder and louder, Lithuania's grip grew tighter on Russia's throat.

He had caught him in a spot he thought that monster would never be in his entire life.

Yet there he was, laying vulnerable on his bed, so so sick, in a sickness even Russia himself didn't predict.

Lithuania could feel Russia's limbs dig even deeper into the smelly cot, the metal bed frame creaking at Russia's desperate attempt to cling onto life.

Yet Russia simply held Lithuania's wrists. Gently, as if he were a fragile, broken glass that he had just put back together.

Yet this just further aggravated Lithuania. It was so fucking patronizing.

"God damn it Russia," he was shouting at him, spitting in his blue face. "Fight back!"

Why was he even saying this shit?

"FIGHT BACK!"

His grip tightened, harder and harder.

The voices kept on screaming.

He dug his unkempt nails into the bandages covering Russia's delicate neck.

Tighter

Tears start spilling from Lithuania's eyes, all of the strength in his hand was making his arms sore and all of the voices screaming made his head hurt.

Tighter

Russia's lips twitched upright.

Lithuania's face twisted in sudden confusion.

Russia was smiling. Tears fell out of his eyes yet tears were showing.

Stupid fucking prick.

Tighter.

Teeth were showing.

TIGHTER!

Russia's eyes went unfocused.

Lithuania suddenly took his hands away from his throat, more tears spilling out of his eyes.

**What the hell had he** **done?**

Russia remained smiling. He didn't move an inch. The fucking beast's eyes lost their color and that scared Tolys more than anything.

He had fucked it all up for everyone.

And as tears started to roll down his already red face, he remembered something.

He could've changed him.

Out of every person able to, Lithuania was the one who could've fixed him.

But he didn't. He didn't reach out to Russia when he needed someone the most.

And that was the realization that hit him.

Everything that happened to Russia in his early life was indirectly his fault.

He could've changed him.

And even when they met in later life he was too scared to save Russia.

And so there the true monster sat, on top of Russia's lifeless corpse.

So many things came rushing through his head, all at once just confusing the man even more.

What would the others do if they found out?

Would he have to hide the body?

Should he just come out and say it?

What would happen if he came out and said it?

**Monster.**

**Monster.**

**MOnster.**

**MONSTER.**

**MONSTER.**

**MONSTER.**

**MONSTER!**

**MONSTER!**

**MONSTER!**

**_MONSTER!_ **

He was blocking it out. Tears, snot and spit ran down his face, as he sobbed loudly, even screaming at some points.

Not ever after killing someone did he feel like this.

But this time was different.

It wasn't any human that he was just ordered to kill.

This time it was his long-time boss, and even as Russia had said, his best friend.

He was overrun with guilt, and regret and everything in between.

He prayed to the god that he had sworn never to pray to again for forgiveness, for this death to be temporary but as the minutes passed it showed more signs of being permanent.

Everything was his fault, just like it always was.

**Author's Note:**

> Jesus Christ this was a trip!  
> I used personal experience from panic attacks to put into this one. This was really fun to write! Thank you for reading to the end!


End file.
